This is not my ceiling
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
