Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She's JV to your varsity
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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