I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
