mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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