worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
