I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
