Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
