Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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