$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
