seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
