shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
