He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
