I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just high enough for therapy.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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