Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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