Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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