This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
