Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I didn't notice because vodka
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
