I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
