Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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