Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
