i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
