He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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