Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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