So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
