i don't like sucking hair
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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