Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
there is glitter all over my balls
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
