lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
