It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
