capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
