When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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