Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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