wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she looked like the before picture.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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