brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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