She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she woke up with a sticky ear
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
