He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
