Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
