Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just had sex bonerless
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
