Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize