Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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