I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
