im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize