We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
