It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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