All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
