lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I need to align my fucking chakras
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
