Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
