remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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