Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
