oh fat girl friday strikes again...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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