You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
