My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
