Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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