he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize