At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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