Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
