he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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