Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
