oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it was like eating out sand paper
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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