So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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