I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
